There is no free energy

There is no free energy in this world.  Are you surprised to hear this?  Well, don’t be.  Let me tell you my latest story. 

After the holiday season, I figured that since I eat healthy and home-cooked most of the time, I could afford eating some sweet things here and there.  Around that time, I started a major catch up before the IIN school test.  And then my city college classes started.  And I started an intense marketing and soul-searching program.  And I got my first client which was very exciting and stressful at the same time.  And I got very involved with my school’s incredible Facebook group.  Lots of great events were happening at the same time, and I didn’t want to give up a single one.  After all, this is exactly how I envisioned my life to be – active, interesting, stimulating.  The problem was, I didn’t have the energy to do all this.  And that’s when I rediscovered the ‘magic’ powers of sugar, chocolate and caffeine.  These things made it all possible.  They made it fun.  Can’t get up at 7 am to go to a tennis class?  Start it quick with some green tea!  Falling asleep at the campus?  Buy some dark chocolate!  Or better yet, a combination of green tea AND dark chocolate!  Don’t feel very motivated and affectionate before calling your family?  More sweet caffeinated junk!  Etc.  You get the point. 

Now, I know that not many people even know that green tea has caffeine.  I am just a very sensitive person.  Green tea, dark chocolate, candy – they all make me high.  They change my chemistry turning me from tired, grumpy and slightly depressed into happy, energized and full of great ideas.  The important question is:  do they give me energy?  No.  They take it. 

As I said above, there is no free energy in this world.  Our bodies have a limited reserve of energy.   Some more than others.  It’s like a bank account.  And every time I whip my body with some junk, I need to double the rest time.  And if I can’t double the rest time, I’m screwed.  I am eventually more tired and hence need more junk.  And that’s how the vicious circle starts.  As a result, I get more and more out of touch with my body.  I miss the important messages my body is trying to send me.  Messages like I’m about to get a cold or back pain.  Both are so easy to avoid if caught early! 

Can you relate to what I’m describing?  Maybe to a lesser degree? 

My husband was watching my ups and downs and finally asked me to stop it last weekend.  He told me he can’t watch me destroying myself anymore.   When other people get to see me full of energy and life, in my ‘getting-things-done’ mode, he sometimes gets to see me at my lowest:  exhausted and irritable.   So I decided to break the vicious cycle again.  Today is the third day I’m not eating chocolate or candy, and I’m not drinking caffeinated tea or coffee.  It is extremely hard.  I’m feeling terrible, I’m tired, I’m not motivated.  Yesterday I slept ten hours and then had to take a two hour nap.  Thank god I could afford it!  I know this is a natural detox process, and today I’m feeling a little bit better.  I make fruit smoothies, I drink herbal teas and water, I will meditate tonight.  I’m paying for all that energy I was borrowing in the past month.  The first week is hard, but it’s so worth it.  Stay tuned!  J